blackfemalepresident:

you deserve to be in a relationship with a person who doesnt make you compete for their affection and never has you guessing where you stand with them

(via parkwaydrivest)

  • me on a spanish test: cómo se llama, bonita, mi casa, shakira shakira

(via duhmn)

Timestamp: 1410774970

weedjoke420:

what am i gonna be for halloween???? an emotional wreck probably

(via youve-got-a-lot-of-heart)

weedjoke420:

what am i gonna be for halloween???? an emotional wreck probably

(via youve-got-a-lot-of-heart)

thegirlwithcaramelskin:

the-altar:

grebnesieh:

Grab her booty in front of dudes who want her.

Grab her booty in front of women who want you.

That second one means so much.

(via sofuckingdonewithbands)

  • Me at school: no really i am smart i just don't feel like doing this

danglingthpider:

notcrazyiswear:

I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.

Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.

I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”

(via bringmethegaskarth)

Timestamp: 1410750837

ruinedchildhood:

I wish I wish

With all my heart

TO FUCKING PASS MY CLASSES AND FINALS

image

(via maddyversustheworld)

my-dads-the-king-of-hell:

my-dads-the-king-of-hell:

so apparently an arm can sell on the black market for $885, ($500 for the shoulder plus $385 for the hand an forearm) 

and a leg can sell for $500 (at least thats the lowest price of an albino leg so im guessing here) 

So when someone says “That’ll cost an arm ad a leg” they are roughly asking for $1,335

which is less than i would have guessed. 

i didn’t spend this much time researching the cost of limbs on the black market for one note

(via blunk182)

mama-panther:

[cries but also keeps eyeliner intact]

(via mentally-unstable-but-stable)

  • Cashier: That'll be $4.03
  • Me: I only have $4...
  • Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
  • Me: ...........
  • Cashier: ........
  • Me: what are we?
cursor by ofsquidgyandkellin!